Eugene {half} Marathon: The Highs & Lows

It's hard to believe it has been over a week since the Eugene {half} marathon! This race was supposed to be THE race...I hired a coach, was committed to and focused on my training, and went into it in {by far} the best running shape I have been in.   There was NO doubt in my mind I would crush my sub-2:00 half marathon goal.  So while the outcome of the race was a low, let me start by sharing a high.

I started my weekend by attending a Beth Moore conference Friday night & Saturday morning with my mom. Filled with 7300 women, the Matthew Knight Arena was overflowing with the Holy Spirit. Over the course of the two sessions, Beth talked about how its All About Time.  There was so much information in such a short amount of time, that it really deserves its own post; but it was an emotional, empowering, uplifting, and rejuvenating conference.  Two points from the sessions that really stood out to me are 1) We are NOT running out of time and 2) God calls us to redeem the time {we need to buy back our time}...I am in desperate need of re-prioritizing and buying back my time. 

Mother-Daughter time 

 

Saturday after the conference ended, I was planning on heading to the expo to meet some blogger/twitter/NUUN friends. Things didn't quite go as planned, but I was able to meet up with one of my fellow NUUN teammates, Meghan and meet fellow Medfordite Robyn.  Luckily, thanks to twitter, I was able to quickly meet Corey, Molly, Holly {who is on the Hood-To-Coast team & will be running Ragnar Tennessee with me} and Stephanie.  Sidenote: People who don't blog and aren't into social networking don't understand the friendships that are created among people who don't actually know each other. My friends and family  didn't understand why I wanted to get to the expo at a certain time and why it was so important to hang around to see people...it was kind of frustrating. I am glad I was able to at least briefly meet and chat with a few people! 

Fellow Medfordites

I was so excited {maybe too excited} for the race to begin; I was up all night, like a kid on Christmas Eve.  Race morning we headed to Hayward Field, and I just had a feeling this was going to be the day...I had truly tapered, was well hydrated, my legs felt fresh, and I was confident I would do it.  My race plan was to start off "slow" and negative split it, which has alway been successful for me {when I execute it properly}. Due to the crowd at the start, our first mile was close to 10:00 because we weren't able to get around people.  Mandy and I sort of panicked {knowing that wasn't going to cut it} and picked up the pace. Still working our way through the crowd, we hit 9:26 for mile two, which was about right.  Miles 3-8 we were right at a 9:00 minute pace, which was exactly where we needed to be. But then we hit the hill at mile 8 {which I was fully prepared for...mentally and physically}, but it went downhill from there {no pun intended}...As I write this, looking at my splits, I was right on track with my goal {which is refueling my frustrations with myself}.  I reached the top of the hill {which wasn't even that steep of a hill}, and I was mentally done. Why? I am not sure. Yes, I was physically tired...but nothing out of ordinary for being at mile 9 of a half marathon.  

High: Great running friends and being able to run with my dad

I knew I would see my mom around mile 9, so I kept waiting and waiting, and finally I saw her and my brother, which gave me a little boost, but not much.  I decided to stop & walk for a second so I could turn on my music, get my headphones untangled, turn OFF my GPS tracking app {which was telling me my pace every mile, and at this point only making matters worse}and give myself a mental pep talk.  From that point on my only goal was to finish. Each mile, actually 1/2 mile, became harder and harder, fully aware that my goal was no longer attainable. It wasn't because I wasn't physically trained for it; I mentally crashed. Which is difficult for me to grasp, because mental strength is usually one of my strong suits.  

Mandy coming in strong

I was happy to enter Hayward Field, but it wasn't the victory lap I had anticipated. As soon as I crossed the finish line, I broke into tears...You know, the ugly-sobbing-can't talk kind of cry.  This was a first for me. I usually cry tears of joy every time I cross the finish line, because it is always such a feeling of accomplishment. But not this time.  These were tears of disappointment. Failure. Frustration. While these were a different kind of tears, they symbolized the same thing my tears of joy do: PASSION! My passion for running. Passion for constantly bettering myself. Passion for wanting to make my dad proud.  Passion for accomplishing my goals. Passion for living life to the fullest. Passion for having fun while living a healthy life. 

This training/racing cycle was different for me.   I usually don't take the training quite as serious {if something comes up, it is ok if I miss a run or cut it short}, and I really love the races and have fun.  This time, I was really focused on my training {wouldn't skip a run and did exactly what was on my schedule}, and to be honest, didn't really enjoy the race {that is for another post}.  I DO NOT want to get to the point where racing is no longer fun, so things are going to change! Through the process of running the race, contemplating everything in my head the days after, and in writing this post, I have learned a lot, and know the next race will be better. 

When I first thought about writing this post, I wasn't going to share my finish time, due to embarrassment. Not embarrassment because it is a slow time {I hate the word slow, speed is so relative}, but embarrassment because I know I am capable of so much more {I have raced and ran several long training runs at a much faster pace}. But bottom line, it is my finish time, and I can't change it now:

2:06.?? 

{I guess I could re look up my official time, but that is close enough}

Another high: it is a course PR

A little fun to cheer me up

NUUN for the win

While I struggled with the outcome of my race, I knew I had to pull myself together to celebrate other people's victories...Mandy who had a course and all-time half PR. My dad who had a phenomenal race. Stephanie who had a HUGE course and all-time half PR. David who ran his first half marathon.  Jenny who also had a course and all-time half PR.  I loved switching roles to cheer, take pictures and celebrate in the accomplishment of all of the NUUN/Oiselle runners who ran the full.  Watching the finish of a marathon is so empowering...seeing people fight, with everything in them, to cross that finish line.  Seeing the smiles, from ear to ear when people cross the finish line for the first time OR realize they are going to qualify for Boston.  This finish was even more powerful than most,  as people put their hand over their heart in honor and memory of Boston.  

All-in-all it was a fabulous weekend! One thing I know for sure, I will be running my next race naked {no watch, GPS app...NOTHING!}; I will focus on having fun and not worry about my time.