@hollyroberts83 Final Cut...##footdance
♬ Oh Nanana - Remix - dj 6rb & bonde r300
During my run this morning, my mind was going a million miles a minute, and I decided now seems like a good time to bring the blog out of an 2+ year quarantine. As I approach the end of week 4 of quarantining at my parents, I have a lot of thoughts, reflections etc to share...so here goes nothing, vulnerability and all.
We as a city, a state, a country, a world are all collectively fighting this pandemic together, while each of us individually simultaneously fight our own battles amid the chaos and uncertainty. I write this blog from a place of abundant blessing, health, and love, and my heart aches for those literally fighting for their lives. But I still struggle. And my struggles are real and validated, as are yours. Let me tell, never did I imagine being 36, single, back living with my parents {although temporary} after just making the move to Denver. But, this was a CHOICE I made, and I am blessed I was able to make this CHOICE.
THEN AND NOW
I miss Colorado. I miss my routine. I miss my dog. I miss my work space. I miss the Colorado mountains. I miss my clothes and all my stuff. I miss human connection.
I'm blessed to be back in Oregon in a home filled with love, food, and yes, TP {and my amazing parents}! I'm blessed to have a healthy body that allows me to get out and exercise. I'm blessed my parents have let me take over their dining room table for my "office." I'm blessed to be busy with work. I'm blessed to have a suitcase filled with winter clothes and another filled with workout clothes that my friends so graciously sent me from my apartment in Denver. I'm blessed to crawl into my by bed every night in my parent's guest room, surrounded by memoirs from my childhood. I'm blessed to be more socially connected to friends and family while maintaining physical distance {Thank you ZOOM!!!}.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL...BUT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS PRAYING FOR MY "STRUGGLE"
But let me be completely honest, this quarantining has been hard on this adventurous, giving, people seeking, philanthropic, on-the-go girl. For those of you who know me, I am usually on the go from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes at night. And I wouldn't change it for the world...until the world forced me to change it. So here I am, forced to make some adjustments to my life. As we all are. After spewing daggers from my mouth in the form of mean + hurtful words, and crying until my eyes burned a couple of weeks ago, I knew I had to change my perspective, cause that is one thing I can control right now.
One thing I know about myself is that I am a hard worker, a doer, a pleaser, someone who likes to add value and feel needed and appreciated. And I will be completely honest, I don't feel like I add much value being quarantined in my parents house. While I see + hear parents complaining about having their kids home {and trust me mommas, I know the struggle is real, so keep showing up and doing your best} I find my heart aching...oh how I would love to have legos scattered all over my living room floor or to sit down and do a math lesson with my kiddo, but that is not a blessing I have in this season of life. And I am sure there are mommas out there looking at my life, and thinking, dang, she has it good right now! And YES, I do. I think it's important for ALL of us to remember, we all have something someone else is praying for {thanks Rachel Hollis for that reminder + perspective}
USING MY SINGLENESS FOR GOOD
Following my full-on-whoah-is-me-pity-party {which we all will have, and I am sure I'll have another one over the next couple of weeks...so make sure to be gracious with one another} I knew I had to do something different...I needed to live each day, sometimes each minute of each day, with intention and purpose, and find a way to use my situation, my singleness, for good. I have time, I have resources, to give to others in need. BUT...the only way for me to do that is to fill myself up...to the point of overflowing...so I can pour into others. Everyday I focus on filling my mind, body and soul with positive nourishment, so I can then provide support and encouragement for others...whether that's dropping off lunch for a friend, face-timing with a 2 year old to provide a break in the chaos of the day for my friend, listening to a friend as they share about their current struggles, or doing an evening ZOOM math tutoring session. If I am stuck in the mental downward spiral of being "stuck" | quarantined, single in Medford, there is no way I can support others...and add VALUE during this uncertain time for all of us.
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| As someone who loves lists and sharpies, I started making quarantine to-do lists |
WE WILL NEVER GET THESE DAYS BACK
For many of us, I think the pandemic is an answered prayer is some sense. How many people constantly wish they had more time to be home and with their family + kiddos...well, now you have it. Enjoy it! How many people have wanted to start an exercise program or train for a marathon, but just haven't had time. Well, it's time to lace up those shoes. How many people wish they had more time to cook dinner at home instead of constantly eating out. Now's your chance. How about all those home projects you keep putting off? You get the point...This pandemic is calling us all to something different...for some its rest, for some its action. Regardless of where the pandemic is calling you there is one thing that's certain, we will never get these days back {and I think most of us will say AMEN to that}....but...don't let them go to waste. Enjoy the time with your kiddos. Work harder than you ever have to keep your company afloat during these difficult times. Build that website you've been wanting to create for your business. Exercise and move your body. Take-up that new hobby you've always wanted to do. Read the book that has been collecting dust on your nightstand. Take time to rest, relax and be refreshed.
Whatever you do, make sure to live the best version of yourself during this time so you can come out of quarantine ready to take on the world.
